where we left off.

pc: decor8

today (now yesterday?) was simply amazing. and i mean that literally, because it was a day made amazing by its complete simplicity. 

let me digress: i have been unbelievably broke lately. i've been on unemployment for almost five months, and it's been tough getting by. i've been able to pay my bills on time every month -- which is nothing short of a miracle --but it's been hard trying to maintain a decent social life with so little money (and with friends so far away). 

i chose to use this period of my life to really figure out who i am and what makes me happy, and sadly, i quickly realized that most of the things that make me happy involve spending money. this fact does not make me happy. it makes me feel lazy, and like an idiot. i've always heard that the best things in life are free, so how did i end up valuing the things that cost me money instead? 

today (yesterday) i went to my friend jeanette's house to help her pack up her bedroom (she's moving into her first apartment next week). i've known jeanette since elementary school, and i'm pretty sure some of the stuff in her room dated back to those days, because it was a total disaster zone. i was two seconds away from calling hoarders and recommending her for the show. jeanette's never been the tidiest person i know, but i didn't realize how much stuff she held onto, and mostly for sentimental reasons. between the four of us (myself, jeanette, and my other childhood friends, leanne and lindsay) we tackled the room over the course of the day, but once we came upon boxes of photos and mementos from our junior high and high school days, the whole operation shut down. we spent the last couple hours of the evening laughing, joking, and reminiscing about our horrible hairdos and outfits. it was the most fun i've had in a while; all of us together, talking about old times, and how young we sometimes still feel even though we're on the brink of quarter-century meltdowns.

rolling around on jeanette's bedroom floor, reading notes that we wrote each other in high school, and laughing hysterically was a really good feeling. it made me feel so happy, and so blessed, to be able to say that i've known these people for over 15 years. and the best part is, it didn't cost me a dime.

friends are free. laughter is free. love is free. gratitude is free. money can't always buy memories, or the chance to relive them. we spend most of our lives chasing after things that, when we die, are not going to come with us. we fill empty space with nonsense objects in hopes that it'll make us feel whole, but it rarely ever does, and if so, it's only temporary. why i didn't catch on to this earlier, i do not know. timing, i guess. but now i realize how the simplest things can make the biggest impact on your life. 

mood music: lali puna - remember (via music is art)