subterfuge.

pc: summer teeth

i noticed that i haven't written much about my feelings in a while. it hasn't been intentional; i guess i just haven't had too much going on, or that i felt the need to blog about at least. i usually go pretty long periods feeling the same way. when i'm stressed out, or worried about something, it tends to last for a while, until i find the wherewithal to bring myself out of it. and sometimes, unfortunately, i just can't. 

a lot of things have been same old, same old. i'm still working feverishly on getting a job and apartment in san francisco (needless to say, one needs to come before the other). i'm still trying to pay my bills with what little money i get from the government, and using the rest to somehow maintain a social life. and i'm still working on being positive and brave enough to embark on a new chapter in my life, and not let fear and worry get in the way of my progress. 

like most everyone, i'm feeling really good about the coming year. something tells me big things are going to happen, not just in my life, but in everyone else's, too. it's really exciting to have not just a new year, but a new decade -- a fresh start, a clean slate. you can already tell how people's attitudes have changed, and how much more optimistic everyone is. i think those feelings alone will turn things around.

i'm still feeling motivated and inspired, if not slightly confused. i feel trustful.  i feel really passionate about the things i want to do next. i feel tiny, and i feel huge. i feel just how i need to feel in this moment. 

mood music: feist - i feel it all