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but if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently. - romans 8:25
it's been a long, sleepy, head-full-of-nonsensical-worries kind of week. i've been trying to go to bed early and take lots of naps (the thing i relish most about unemployment), as it seems that the more i sleep, the less time i have to stress. i haven't really been myself. or, maybe i've been too much of myself; the self that i kinda wish i wasn't. i think it's because i'm newly 24, and am just starting to realize how unaccomplished i am. maybe not in the grand scheme of things, but in the things i hoped to have had, and the way i hoped to feel by the time i reached this age. what upsets me even more is that, i created this life; i vibrated certain ways that caused these things to go into motion and either appear or not appear in my life. just goes to show you how powerful emotions and attitude can be.
basically, i have no job, barely any money, and am about to be homeless, and yet, that's not what worries me most. what i'm stressing about is how i can change my vibrational path to not create the same sad circumstances over and over again. i'm really trying. it's not easy, but maybe it's not supposed to be. i just need to figure out what's next for me. half exhilarating, half terrifying. stay tuned.
in other news, i've gotten really into jazz. suits the season, and my mood.
mood music: miles davis - blue in green
don't focus on what is missing! shift your focus on what you have and what you are capable of everyday...everything always works out. :)
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